If you ask me: being a real adult starts with the small stuff

By Julia Swain

I distinctly remember the moment I finally felt like a “real adult.” I had already been 21 for four months, standing in the middle of the Apple Store in Naperville, Illinois, with a broken phone clutched in my hand. I explained the issue, prayed for a cheap fix and waited while they took it back. Moments later, the employee returned with an apologetic look and informed me my phone was a goner.

Never had I felt more like an adult than when I swiped my debit card to buy a new phone and watched several hundred dollars vanish in seconds. No parental safety net, no “I’ll pay you back later” cushion–just me, my hard-earned money from the previous school year, and the cold reality that adulthood isn’t always glamorous or empowering. More often, it’s frustrating, expensive, and oddly sobering.

I learned a lot about being a real adult this summer–working a 9-to-5 for the first time, cooking my own meals and making my own doctors appointments. I didn’t need to wait until a certain age or hold a diploma to experience these things. I simply had to start doing them. And that’s the thing about adulthood: it doesn’t arrive all at once, it unfolds in the ordinary, everyday choices that slowly shape us into people who can stand on their own. 

And while this is incredibly terrifying, there’s something reassuring about it too. Being a “real adult” isn’t about having all the answers, or suddenly feeling ready, but it’s about showing up, being vulnerable and open about the struggles you’re facing and realizing that it’s not about perfection but being present. 

The older I get, the more I am realizing these things–that it’s a series of small, sometimes uncomfortable steps that never really stop. There will always be another bill to pay, another responsibility waiting around the corner. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Because if adulthood is built out of these ordinary moments, then it’s also where we discover how to push through, how to gain independence and the reassurance of knowing we can handle what comes next.

It’s equal parts messy and exciting, sure, but maybe that’s the point. That’s what makes adulthood not just bearable, but strangely fun.

Julia Swain is a senior Journalism student and the Editor in Chief of Cedars. She enjoys concerts, coffee and watching and analyzing any Cleveland sports team.