Testimony Tuesday: Finding a faithful God through crippling anxiety

By Rachel Schuck

“I’m an average Christian, some people would say, but my life story isn’t average and my testimony isn’t average.”

Faith DiBenedetto, a sophomore Communication major at Cedarville University, grew up in a Christian household surrounded by many godly influences. At five years old, DiBenedetto surrendered her life to Christ after having a conversation with her dad. While she understood Christ’s sacrifice for her sin, DiBenedetto believed one significant misconception about her salvation.

“[My salvation] was just little me thinking, ‘Once I accept God my anxiety is gone,’” DiBenedetto said.

From a very young age, DiBenedetto struggled with extreme anxiety; she saw her salvation as a solution for her fear.

She soon learned that her faith in Christ would not automatically cure her anxiety. 

DiBenedetto still battled worry. She struggled with separation anxiety and heavy doubts. As she attended school and attempted to go on playdates with friends, her anxiety worsened until she could barely function. 

“I could do nothing with my anxiety,” DiBenedetto said. “My mom always had to be there. My dad always had to be there. It was just extremely crippling.”

DiBenedetto and her family on a recent trip to Disney World
Left to right: Valerie, Michael, Mark, and Faith

Through the aid of a teacher, DiBenedetto began attending Christian counseling, where she learned to handle her worries by giving them to God.

“[God] brought me those resources to not let my anxiety control me,” DiBenedetto said.

Throughout middle school, DiBenedetto continued to face anxiety but to a lesser extent. Navigating a new school and sudden health issues during the sixth grade, she struggled with her emotions and her faith in the Lord through various hospital visits.

“Middle school was a pivotal moment for me,” DiBenedetto said. “There were just a lot of ups and downs. There was a lot of anxiety that had come back.”

Struggling with increased anxiety, DiBenedetto grew stagnant in her faith as she entered high school. 

“I was a lukewarm Christian in the sense of I wasn’t really doing a lot of ministry, or really reading my Bible, and not really enjoying church,” she said.

During her freshman year at Cedarville, DiBenedetto encountered anxiety once again, following hard friendships and stressful change in her senior year of high school.

Transitioning to living away from home and knowing no one on campus, DiBenedetto struggled with loneliness and worry during her first semester.

“[I was] constantly homesick,” DiBenedetto said. “Even the friends I had made – I just struggled to be friends with them.”

DiBenedetto had second thoughts about returning to campus while she was on Christmas break.

“It was just a lot of unknowns,” DiBenedetto said. “Like, ‘Is this the Lord’s will for me to leave or is it the Lord’s will for me to stay? Is it God’s will for me to be at Cedarville even if it is hard?’”

DiBenedetto witnessed God’s faithfulness in the months after Christmas break, especially through his provision of godly friends, caring professors and an encouraging RA.

By the time her second semester at Cedarville came to an end, DiBenedetto left campus reluctantly; Cedarville had become her home through the Lord’s provision.

Looking back on her freshman year, DiBenedetto realizes that God showed her his faithfulness through her anxiety by using it to reveal his peace.

“In every single circumstance I should have peace because I have the Lord and I have that hope,” she said.

DiBenedetto clings to Philippians 4:6-7, recognizing that she can make her requests known to God. Rather than focusing on her worries, DiBenedetto praises God for the work he has done in her life.

“It’s gonna be okay because I’m in the Lord,” DiBenedetto said. “I have the peace that surpasses all understanding.”

Treasuring the growth she has experienced through her journey with anxiety, DiBenedetto encourages people to rest in God’s faithfulness.

“[Life’s] just a season, and as much as sometimes that season may be long – could be years, could be a month, could be two, three – the Lord’s faithful through it all,” DiBenedetto said. “The Lord’s gonna bring you out of that.”

Rachel Schuck is a freshman Professional Writing and Information Design student. She loves to play the piano, get coffee with friends and take walks in the sunshine.