Coffee and Consent panel tackles the hard questions of consent in and out of romantic relationships

By Chelsea McKanna

Shannon Berkheiser, Title IX Coordinator at Cedarville University, kicked off the Coffee and Consent event by explaining her biggest objective: for students to come away with a deeper understanding of how consent works in their daily lives, in or out of romantic relationships. But that was not her only focus.

“We always want to have this conversation in the context of the Bible,” Berkheiser said.

For her it was vital that the main goal for the audience was that they honor God in all they say and do, but also honor and respect other people, “remembering each of us bears God’s image.”

The Coffee and Consent panel took place at 7 p.m. on March 12 in BTS 104. Attendees had the opportunity to win various raffle prizes at the end of the event, including snack baskets, merch, and even a PS5. The room filled with students lining up to get a cup of coffee and donuts before the panel began. 

Anna Beckloff, Cedarville’s new Confidential Advocate, moderated the panel and asked the panelists various questions about the topic of consent. Panelists included Professor Melissa Brown of the Social Work department; Carolyn Barnett, a Nursing faculty member; Jessica Wiebe, a senior Social Work major; Celeste Hurley, director of Violence Free Futures; and TJ Shamburger, resident director of Brock and Parker. 

Over the course of the night the panelists broke down questions which ranged from what consent is and how consent shows up in their day-to-day lives to the assumptions made about consent. 

Throughout the discussion, the panelists repeatedly emphasized how important respect for the other person is and how it builds trust in relationships. The goal of consent, according to the panelists, is to honor God in our relationships and love others.

“If you respect them, then you’ll want the best for them,” Wiebe said. 

In a relationship, love for God and care for the other person should always come first. 

“If we’re focused on ourselves, we’re focused on the wrong thing,” Hurley said 

Another focus of the night was that consent is something that does not just show up in romantic relationships but also in our daily interactions with friends and family. Shamburger gave the helpful illustration of borrowing a friend’s car one day and asking, then borrowing it another day without asking. He explained that consent is not implied and we tend to neglect relational consent over physical.

TJ continued that there is the assumption that previous interactions mean it’s going to be okay in the future. That may not be the case and should never be assumed

The panel ended with a final question from a student, who submitted a question on how best to start the conversation about consent in friendships or relationships. 

“The longer you go without it, the harder it is,” Shamburger said.

He encouraged students to start the conversation now or at the beginning of the relationship. 

“If your boundaries are being pushed, have that conversation so that you can honor God,” Barnett said.

Burkheiser closed out the night. 

 “It[consent] goes both ways, men deserve to give their consent just as much as women,” she said.

Berkheiser encouraged students to stay engaged in the conversation and to keep an eye out for further events and informational emails if they’re interested. 

Chelsea McKanna is a sophomore Professional Writing and Information Design major with a minor in Missions. She spends her free time with friends or sipping coffee with a new book to read. 

Photo taken by Chelsea McKanna