Testimony Tuesday: Put faith in Christ, not an influencer 

By Linnea Doughman

Freshman Biblical Studies major Nicole Weaver received Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior at ten years old. Growing up, her family actively participated in a local church, and she went to a Christian school. Weaver does not remember a time where Christianity was not a part of her life. However, she has identified that her faith in God as a child is far different from her faith in God now. 

“When I was thirteen I knew that I accepted [Christ], but I knew that I [was] not living like I know him,” Weaver said. “He pricked my heart and changed my life completely and I realized that I needed to turn back to him and not just know of him.” 

In her early teen years, Weaver struggled to keep the Lord at the center of her life. However, when she was 16 years old, an event that occurred within her life challenged her faith unlike anything before. 

On one random Wednesday, Weaver watched her mother answer a phone call from an unknown number. When she overheard the words “hospital,” “accident” and her father’s name, her whole world began to spin.

“I had to grab onto the countertop and I dropped to my knees,” Weaver said. “I was instantly in tears. I knelt, crying out to the Lord in shock—never expecting anything to happen.”

Through the simplicity of a phone call, Weaver learned that things within one’s life can change in an instant. When she was 16, her father was caught in a logging accident nearly costing him his life. Because of the accident he suffered serious brain damage and various health issues. Weaver noticed her father’s physical, emotional and mental life drastically change in a short amount of time. As Weaver watched her father’s physical and mental state deteriorate she began to reflect her father’s mentality. 

Weaver said, “He is my influence in the Christian walk.” 

As Weaver watched her dad recover from his near death experience, she doubted God’s faithfulness. There came a point where she began to question her purpose on earth.

“I was so angry at God,” Weaver said.“I fell into a depressive episode that became my identity.” Nearly six months after the logging accident, Weaver ended up in the hospital under suicide watch.

Weaver’s uncertainty and anxiety towards life plagued her. Because of being continually attacked by anxiety, Weaver eventually had to come to terms with the fact that she was putting her focus on an influence, rather than Christ Himself. Losing her father would mean losing the person that influenced her faith most. While she still deals with anxiety from time to time, Weaver has learned to rely on her heavenly father in times of uncertainty. 

“I was not putting my identity in Christ, I was putting it in others,” Weaver said. “He has taught me, especially since getting to college, that my identity is not found in others, but instead through him and in him.”

Once Weaver’s father began to heal physically, mentally and emotionally, she understood that the Lord is always faithful, even when difficult circumstances could imply otherwise.

“My dad is not the same—he is not who he used to be—but the Lord has healed him so much,” Weaver said. “We have both gone through very similar battles and he understands me more now than he did before.”

Throughout Weaver’s faith journey, she is able to continually testify to God’s faithfulness that has always been present.

“Even in moments where I turned from him or I did not read the Bible or I did not talk to him and I lived my own way, he was still so faithful,” Weaver said.

Since coming to Cedarville, Weaver has had to navigate the uncertainties and anxieties that freshman year can bring. Being a Forensics Science major was something that Weaver thought was God’s plan. However, Weaver realized halfway through her first semester that she was making up her own plan and not following God’s will for her life. Weaver’s discovery of God’s will led her to switch to being a Biblical Studies major. 

“The Lord has allowed me to feel so at peace with being a student. I am learning how to depend on God […] and say yes to what he has planned,” Weaver said. “He knows what is best.”

A Bible verse that Weaver continues to remind herself of as she navigates life is Romans 8:28 which says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Linnea Doughman is a sophomore English major with a concentration in Editing and Publishing. In her spare time she loves writing creatively, going on strenuous hikes, capturing special moments through photography, and thrifting with friends.