By Josh Ball
A young son makes his father out to be a god. This is a common fact of human existence. He is the biggest and strongest man in the world. So what happens when that illusion is shattered in spectacular fashion? Set in Watts, Los Angeles, that is the question Walter Thompson-Hernandez’s “If I Go Will They Miss Me” seeks to answer.
Starting out as an indie short film in the Sundance Film festival, this movie has come a long way to be a feature length project. Retaining the indie feel, “If I Go Will They Miss Me” focuses on Big Ant (J. Alphonse Nicholson) and his eldest son, Lil Ant (Bodhi Dell). Big Ant returns home from a stay in prison and finds it difficult to reconnect with his family, especially Lil Ant. The rift gradually widens and ends in a tumultuous moment of moral conviction.
Lil Ant wants to reconnect with his father where their relationship was interrupted, but Big Ant, reformed after his time away, tries to force their relationship to change. The older man comes from a disposition of love and so is blinded to the detriment he works in his son’s life. From a desire for his son to be better than himself, Big Ant forms his son into a younger version of the father.
Throughout the film, Lil Ant draws what he imagines. He sees himself as Pegasus carrying his father as Poseidon through the sky. As Big Ant discourages the drawings, he ruins Lil Ant’s perception of him while simultaneously clipping his son’s wings. He grounds the twelve-year-old before his time.
Big Ant’s choices drive a wedge between him and his family. His absence from important events causes his wife, Lozita (Danielle Brooks) to question whether to continue the marriage. This is driven by Big Ant’s seeming unwillingness to be an active and present leader, especially in his relationship with his son. This tension builds to a moment of awakening in Big Ant’s mind which forces him to confront his mistakes.
The film refuses to leave without hope. In the midst of despair, loss and realization, Big Ant prays. Through the new dedication to God and improvement of his own character, Big Ant is able to rebuild destroyed relationships. Including this moment of authentic prayer on the big screen is a brazen move for an unbelieving industry.
Thematically, the film is deep. The message rings endlessly true: a son needs his father. It is one of the most crucial truths with which we live. When the relationship is lost or broken, it rises to tragic and near fatal moments as “If I Go Will They Miss Me” depicts so heartwrenchingly.
Unfortunately, this message is lost at times to shots which try too hard to be artistic. The trap is a common one for indie filmmakers. In an effort to prove themselves, they often overstuff their movies with highbrow artistic moments which are convoluted and only confuse the audience while distracting from the main ideas.
Walter Thompson-Hernandez is unfortunately no different. Scenes dense with confusing symbolism only distract from the primary message by serving no purpose other than to pad runtime and prove the artistic ability no one doubts from the rest of the film.
From real, beautiful depictions of a father struggling and how it affects those around him, especially his son, to wonderful, shameless Christian themes, “If I Go Will They Miss Me” is a touching tribute to fathers and sons. Far from perfect, it stands regardless as a testament to the depth of the ideas of ordinary men. Indie films will continue to dominate as long as names like Walter Thompson-Hernandez are on the scene.
Josh Ball is a senior history major. He wants to hug and thank his father more than ever.
“If I Go Will They Miss Me” is currently playing in theaters.
Images courtesy of Spark Features, Further Adventures and Cedar Road
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