Synthwave, Sunsets and an Indescribable Longing

By Balen Allain

I could endlessly talk about the emotional impact of music. Music is a part of church, the Bible, our common culture, our daily lives, and so on. Music is an infinite spectrum of genres. Synthwave is one of those, and it primarily uses – you guessed it – synthesizers, which are digital instruments that synthesize waveforms into the typical electronic sounds you’ve heard in many places.

One evening, my sister Abigail drove me back to Cedarville from my home in Dayton. We both enjoy playing loud music in the car, so at the beginning of the drive she put on a short album. “Climax”, by Tommy ‘86. At the time, it was a new album, and to this day, it hasn’t made much of a splash even within the synthwave space. It isn’t Christian music, nor is the artist a believer.

The sun was going down, and as Ohio is prone to providing, the partly cloudy sky was colored with deep hues of blue, orange, brown and red. Did you know that the shadow of the earth itself, called a penumbra, is visible during sunset and twilight? It’s the noticeable band of darkness that rotates across the sky. Throw in a decent hill we were driving over, and it was a beautiful sight, facing north.

In that moment, listening to the second song, I was struck with a unique emotion. I had felt it before, and I’ve felt it since. The best way I can describe it is joy, somberness, a touch of nostalgia, for nothing in particular and an existential longing – for what I can’t say. In effect, it makes me aware of the moment. I am living right here, at this moment in the timeline of my life, and it will not last. What an odd feeling.

In my experience, synthwave is prone to spawning this feeling. The nostalgic aspect is built in, since synthwave chases the, well, synthwave vibe from the 1980s. Synths are by nature ethereal and otherworldly, magical and fantastical.

Tommy ‘86’s “Climax” is a prime example of what synthwave sounds like. There are many conventions in synthwave: one-note bass lines in eighths that move to the chords, arpeggiated and long, smooth pads, and artificial drums hitting a four-on-the-floor beat with emphasis on 2 and 4. It’s entirely digital, but the instruments are usually chosen to feel natural and warm at the same time. Lyrics are uncommon.

“Climax” has four songs based around the idea of composing music: “Imagine,” “Compose,” “Climax,” and “Relax” (my favorite). The tagline on his website says:

“Music can have euphoric virtues in those who listen to it. Start playing, close your eyes, relax and let dopamine invade your body. You have just reached the climax!”

Indeed, it can. Listen to this album while walking around campus at sunset and twilight. Sunsets are the best image of natural beauty we have here, and they bring a sensation of something ending (…the day). Music enhances that experience, and to my logical, structural mind, therefore brings about the odd emotion.

Abigail’s interpretation is pessimistic.

“I’ve come up with multiple titles for it, and none of them have ever fully matched,” she said. “The description I have on one of my playlists is ‘Hopeful Anguish.’ When you know there’s something better, but you don’t know how to find it, so you keep hurting.”

She also described how some songs sparked that feeling years ago but don’t now. She listens to a wide variety of electronic music, like drum and bass, jungle, vaporwave, and so on, but synthwave is still a favorite.

“It’s very rare that I experience that feeling from pretty much any other music genre,” she said.

I can name other songs that put this unidentifiable mood into my bones, from starkly different genres. Goes to show how subjective this feeling is. “Life Changing Moments Seem Minor In Pictures” by C418, “From Far Shores” by LIFEFORMED and Janice Kwan, “Spinning Top Reprise” by James Primate, “Journey” (Vocal Variant 2) by Michael Salvatori and Skye Lewin, and “Beneath the Mask” by Shoji Meguro. Can you tell that I listen to soundtracks?

Just the other night, I was driving my sophomore friend back to his dorm, and I had “Relax” playing. The feeling took my gut in a stranglehold, and I felt a yearning for something. I’ll be graduating this year, and I have no idea where I’m going after. Will I stay in the area? Will I go twenty hours away with no family or friends nearby? Only God knows. The feeling told me that this is a special moment.

“Music can have euphoric virtues in those who listen to it.” Go make music that speaks to the heart.

Balen Allain is a senior Broadcasting, Digital Media and Journalism major focusing on Audio and Journalism. He enjoys gaming, writing fiction, and making music.